Becky Collins
A good friend told me I needed to find a “release.” They reminded me I used to draw and play piano. For some reason, I forgot about these two things I loved to do. About 2 weeks ago, I bought some art supplies and put them away. I was having a bad, sleepless night due to nightmares and finally pulled them out. It gave me a focus and kept my mind in some order, plus the night went by quicker. Here is what came out of my head.
Whispers
Whispers in my ear, of my own soul I hold near. They portray me and betray me, They will not leave me be. My mind it will not settle, these whispers cause me pain. My heart, my mind, my body and soul. Has everything been in vain?
These whispers keep me up at night, In sleep they don’t refrain. They speak of loss, of sorrow, of anger and rage, of things I’ll never attain. I cannot smile, I cannot breathe. I fear that everyone can see. The confusion and the fear, the vulnerable side of me.
How did all this happen? Why was I so blind? I want things back the way they were, Peaceful in my mind.
I became so lost, my entire world torn I fight back for being wronged and it’s me who ends up scorned.
I’ll never understand what happened, how my whole world fell apart. But I’ll struggle, claw and grasp at straws to mend my deadened heart.
Am I perfect? No, far from it. I don’t know how to react. The anger wells, the fear, it swells. My jealousy, a Devils pact.
There is no God, there cannot be. The bullshit people say. It does not help, or justify being treated in this way. A bitch, and ass hole is what you say I am. I hope that’s not what you thought of me before the lies and scams.
My head, it hurts. My body, it aches. Twisted thoughts, I fear my sanity is at stake. It’s very hard to carry on, my thoughts I cant convey. Maybe the whispers will let me be, hopefully, probably….Maybe someday.
Marijana
- A passionate paper folder shares her folding designs.
